Monday, 16 May 2016

Mountain biking

️Mountain biking 
The dry rocky hill gathers dust in the sunlight.

Puddles sink into the ground as you ride a long.

The wet leaves twinkle in the beaming sunlight. 

Roots force your body to jitter as you ride along .

Black clouds surround the sky as rain drops dampen the ground.

The soaked wet ground forces the bikes to tumble.



5 comments:

  1. "Black clouds surround the sky as rain drops dampen the ground." I love this part it really captures the reader and paints a good picture

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  2. You used sunlight twice. It doesn't sound really good. With the third paragraph could you change it to something else

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  3. I like your poem Ryan. I think the part where you say " roots force your body to jitter as you ride along" really captures the felling you get. Well done

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  4. I really like the flow of your words and the way you have described the environment.
    I can picture my self racing through the puddles and over the wet leaves trying to race home to beat the rain drops that are falling from the Black clouds, knowing that I'm not going to quite make it no matter how fast I go.

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  5. I like it how you say "the puddles sink into the ground" it makes the illusion that theirs quit sand underneath the puddle.

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